Jeremy Clarkson is being reported as having told Piers Morgan that his “difficult divorce” from his wife of 21 years Frances has been one of a number of events in his life that have caused him, in the eyes of this objective onlooker, to spiral out of control. Other events include the death of his mother.
He also made reference to his first ex-wife “coming out of the woodwork to give him hell”.
Is it possible that divorce and other events in a person’s personal life can have such a significant impact upon their behaviour towards others particularly within their professional and working environment?
Whilst I am pleased to say none of my clients have ever done anything that has lead them to be plastered over the front pages of every newspaper, I have no doubt that some of the seemingly irrational and unreasonable behaviour that I have seen from my own clients and their ex-husbands or wifes in my 26 years of practice, is out of character and a result of the heightened states of anxiety, fear and confusion felt by people going through a separation or divorce.
Quite often I meet with client and they are perfectly pleasant, calm and rational. Then during the course of dealing with their matter I might meet with them in the presence of their soon to be ex-spouse and I find myself shocked at the apparent change in my client’s personality. This is what we lawyers often refer to as “the shadow client”. You think you know your client but then when you see them in the presence of their ex you see a completely different side to them.
Relationships change us all. The way we interact with our other halves and wider members of our family group has a huge impact upon how we feel. We all know that if we have had a row at home the night before we perhaps come to work with a bit of a black cloud hanging over our heads and we might take it out on those around us. It is very difficult if not impossible to completely separate your personal and professional lives. When emotions are running high they are bound to spill over into our working lives.
So how to you prevent it?
As a lawyer I do not have the right skill set to help clients deal with the emotional fall out of the breakdown of their marriage beyond offering to listen. I do however have enough experience to recognise the signs and to know that, however well someone thinks they are coping with the breakdown of their relationship, there will be issues whether they are fear, guilt, anger, bitterness or just sadness that they need to deal with. Over the course of the last few years I have started working closely with crisis support coaches who offer practical support and advice to my clients to help them manage the stress and emotions resulting from the end of their relationship and I have seen what a positive impact this can have upon a client’s ability to make rational and sensible decisions about matters relating to the children or financial settlement. Often this forms part of working with clients using the Collaboration model
I have no idea whether or not Jeremy Clarkson’s marital difficulties have any part to play in his recent behaviour but it is not beyond the realms of possibility. I for one hope that he finds the support he needs so that he can get his personal life, and his career, back on track.
0 Comments