It is not long until Christmas, and one of the most common enquiries from our clients is contact with their children over the festive period. Christmas can be a testing time between separated parents when trying to arrange who will get to see their child on the big day. Therefore, we thought it useful to provide some guidance for parents below.
1) Making the plans
If you do not have plans in place, now is the time to broach the matter. Talk to your ex-partner and agree on arrangements that work for you all.
It may be that you can agree on your child spending Christmas Eve at one home and returning to the other for lunch time on Christmas Day. Some parents may want to have the main holiday dates and alternate between each parent on alternate years.
It is, of course, a personal choice that has to work for your family. Each family is different. The child’s age, location and relationship between the parents are all factors which will likely influence your decision.
2) Make sure you focus on your children
It is extremely important that your children are put at the heart of your plans. Even if Christmas is a little different this year, try and help your children focus on the positives of this.
Ensure that you share your plans with your children. Even though your Christmas plans may deviate from your usual routine, notifying them of the plans will help them feel safe and secure. Depending on the age of the children, ask them what they want to do over Christmas. As your children get older, they will likely have their own opinions of how they spend Christmas, and it is important they feel heard.
There are many child-focused ways in which you can share your plans. With younger children in particular, a visual plan may assist, such as making a Christmas themed calendar together.
3) Try and be fair and amicable with the other parent
Trying to be fair and amicable with your ex-partner may be easier said than done. If this is your first time having to decide on Christmas arrangements post-separation, this can understandably be a very raw and difficult time. It is likely that you will both want to spend as much time over the Christmas period as possible with your child and arranging to split your time may not be an easy task.
Despite your relationship with your ex-partner, it is important to consider whether you would be happy with the plans for Christmas if you were in their position. If the answer is no, then have discussions with your ex-partner and reconsider. Additionally, plans for this year may well reflect the plans next year for consistency, so it is important to consider how you want Christmas to work in the long run.
4) Stick to the plan
Where possible, it is important for your child that you stick to the plan. Of course, in some circumstances a level of flexibility will be required, and you have to be ready for that and how last-minute changes could affect your child. Therefore, whilst flexibility is an essential part of positive child arrangements, it is important to maintain consistency and provide stability.
5) If required, seek advice from a professional
Christmas can be a hectic time and organising a co-parenting schedule can be testing, especially if communication between you and your ex-partner is difficult. Therefore, if you are struggling to avoid conflict when making arrangements, take advice from a family lawyer who can try to assist in negotiating an agreement.
If you cannot reach an agreement, mediation can help as the presence of a mediator can ease the tension and result in finding common ground. We have a dedicated mediation service here at Taylor Emmet.
Court proceedings are possible, albeit they should be a last resort. It is important to remember that due to the current backlog at Court, it is highly unlikely that you have any prospect of resolving matters at Court before Christmas at this stage in the year.
Child arrangements and Christmas guidance
Firstly, there are there are a couple of key points to keep in mind.
- It is clear that parents should only bring disputes over their children to Court where absolutely necessary. Judges have previously criticised parents for asking the court to micro-manage child arrangements. It is far better for children to have their parents reach an agreement than go to Court.
- The Government have said that future lockdowns are unlikely and have stated that such restrictions do not prevent children from moving between separated parents, provided they are not self-isolating.
Contact us
If you would like any advice on child arrangements during Christmas, or other family law issues, please contact our offices on 0114 218 4000 or email info@tayloremmet.co.uk. If you do find yourself in a position where proceedings are needed or have commenced, we would be happy to help guide you through this process.