We wanted to end Good Divorce Week on a positive note by talking about the benefits of mediation.
As we’ve highlighted throughout this series of blogs, communication is the key to separating in a civilised manner and ensuring your children remain at the heart of all discussions.
So how do you negotiate the many thorny issues that arise during a divorce with someone who inevitably won’t see eye-to-eye with you?
As a mediator, I can appreciate how much couples gain from the process, regardless of how their relationship ended. By working with a neutral third party (me!), they have an opportunity to focus on the things that matter most to them, express their point of view in a controlled environment and reach solutions that work specifically for their family.
Resolving common disputes
Whilst each separation is unique in its circumstances, there are three common issues that are most often at the root of parental disputes. They are:
- Children’s living arrangements
- Contact arrangements for children, for example, will they be supervised, face-to-face or indirect?
- Financial settlements
It is my job, as the mediator, to listen to both parties’ point of view and help you find ways to compromise. We understand these are highly emotive topics that you feel strongly about, but as my colleagues have mentioned already this week, it is your job as parents to put the needs of your children first. In most cases, the best way to do this is to have measured, respectful discussions.
In mediation you can set your own agenda and focus on what is most important to you. So, if both parties wish to remain in the family home, for example, we will prioritise this matter and work to find a resolution. We can also deal with discreet issues, such as who will pay off any family debts.
Saving money and time
Mediation is far cheaper, quicker and less stressful than court proceedings, which can leave you in limbo for many months and result in a judge making decisions about your life that neither of you like.
The government is trying to encourage more separating couples to keep their disputes out of court by making access to mediation more readily available. Indeed, apart from some exceptional circumstances, everyone who wishes to make a court application regarding arrangements for children or financial matters has to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) before they can proceed.
To increase that accessibility, free mediation is offered to individuals who qualify for legal aid and the Ministry of Justice made £500 vouchers available earlier this year for participants who will not receive funding. Sadly, this scheme is coming to an end this month, so act quickly if it is something that could benefit you.
If one of you qualifies for legal aid, but the other is financing the mediation privately, that person is usually responsible for the fees from the second session onwards. In some circumstances, this voucher scheme can mean another two or three sessions can be undertaken before any payment is required and, in many cases, that could be sufficient to resolve your disputes.
If you are entering into the separation process and would like more information about helping your children through the transition, take a look at Resolution’s Parenting Through Separation Guide, which can be downloaded here.
For more information about mediation and eligibility for legal aid, contact our expert team on (0114) 218 4000.
