We were frustrated to watch Monday’s episode of Coronation Street which involved a completely disastrous mediation session. Nick and Leanne traded insult after insult and made no progress whatsoever in relation to trying to resolve their financial dispute and child arrangements.
At a time where many feel that the Government have not adequately publicised how mediation can assist separating couples to resolve their issues, particularly in view of reduction in the availability of legal aid, we need TV to assist in promoting mediation rather than put people off!
So what went wrong? Well it seemed that the mediator was not able to manage the level of conflict in the way he needed to. This meant that the tension steadily rose to a point where the couple stormed out.
It would be unrealistic to say that mediation is always entirely friendly, amicable and conflict free. If this were true, mediators would be in for quite an easy job! It is the role of the mediator to manage the tension and conflict which understandably arises following, often difficult, separations in a way that it is appropriate for the parties.
There needs to be a mutual willingness to participate in the mediation process. There also needs to be an acceptance of the need to listen to one another and be respectful towards one another’s views. This can be difficult where one or both has been hurt badly and remains hurt or bitter towards the other for whatever reason. It is the role of the mediator to lay down the ground rules at the start of the session in terms of the need to listen to each other and respect each other.
There are various ways in which the mediator manages conflict and facilitates meaningful and productive discussions. For example, it is possible to put some issues that are clearly causing tension aside temporarily so that focus can be spent on other less contentious issues. This helps the parties feel that progress is being made and focuses their attention whilst also often helping to diffuse the tension a little. Another way to manage the situation is to have a break to give the parties time to cool off and reconsider matters.
Mediation continues to be regarded as the quickest and cheapest way of resolving issues following separation and where it is deemed to be appropriate, it is usually very effective in avoiding the cost and stress of litigation. Legal Aid is available for mediation which a lot of people do not seem to be aware of.
Hallam Mediation is one of the largest mediation services in South Yorkshire and covers Rotherham, Sheffield, Doncaster, Barnsley, Wakefield and Leeds. We are always happy to accept referrals for mediation and can discuss any queries or questions you may have about our service. For enquiries you can email us at hms@tayloremmet.co.uk.
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